Remember Happiness in Tears

How the story started? After I was born or it was wrote by god before I born. How knew I came from simple enough family or sufficiency family. Actually I never deficiency although sometimes what I wanted didn’t came true. But in the long run I could catch it.

I remember, when I was child that always cheerful although I often cried because at loggerheads with my friends or take away by force toys. Never mind for me and I directly forgot something miserable. I don’t know why the cheerfulness more and more dwindling while my age increasingly. “What do I become like this?” until passed through in my mind to understand meaning of the all.

I am different from me in the past life, I was cheerful, I was brave in fact I was corner boy. There was nothing makes me shamed to do what I wanted and I was fine.

But now turn away I am a man of straw, melancholic perfectly and the worst is I afraid to face the world. I become pessimistic, easy to hopeless at something. I am not sure with my capability.

I always lonely although the world shining. Without backing from anyone although by right people around me cares about my existence. I always worry what will happen tomorrow and uncomfortable with change, although I know everything must be change and will never same. And forget that today may be the last chance, so life for today!

My feeling is too weak, I easy to feel touched or sympathy with situation. Who knows how I have that characteristic. I can’t take revenge someone although I afford and have chance. “Is it indicating that I am weak, isn’t it?” I would never hold peace if someone do unfair to me. “Now what?” I just mourn in the silent and let it pass away. But is not for my heart, it makes crowded in my bosom to remember it.  I buried in the digression and sink below a surface in feeling that I create myself.

“How I have to come up and start from the beginning?” I need support. I always think “I need a person that I love beside and support me”.

It is enough, because now I will think “people who love me always here and support me”.